Archive for the Category »Relationships «

Void
03
March
by TouchedByMadness

There’s that place on the highway–you know the spot–where the speed limit jumps from 55 to 65. That little stretch is where I sail around the curve towards freedom.

But yesterday that curve didn’t put me ten minutes from home as it usually does. It took me into a sea of brake lights. Traffic stood perfectly still.

Any other day, the delay would have driven me to madness. Yesterday I simply sighed and listened to the radio.

Without you, I didn’t feel the pull that draws me directly home every evening. There was no urgency, no rush to return to a quiet and empty house. I missed you most then, realizing that “home” is not the structure we live in. Home is where you are.

Category: Random, Relationships  One Comment
Perspective
05
February
by TouchedByMadness

I study myself in the mirror. Although my trainer friend has helped me reshape my body, my critical eye is immediately drawn to flaws. Besides the visible panty lines (ugh), the red dress gently clings to my butt and thighs. Places that are still soft. Stubborn.

I sigh, wishing I could transfer some of that extra butt cleavage to my shrinking breasts. All that work and I still feel myself frown at my reflection. The dress fits. It’s just not quite perfect.

When I turn around, I see the Captain watching me examine my figure. He takes me in his arms and squeezes me tight. His hands skim over the red dress, caressing every curve beneath - even the “soft” spots. With happy sighs he massages my back and my shoulders. He feels my tiny waist and slimming hips. He is completely pleased with everything he touches. That brings me comfort.

I wish I could see me the way you see me.

Category: Blogging Is Cheaper Than Therapy, Relationships  4 Comments
(Almost) One Year Ago
19
December
by TouchedByMadness

At 7am the phone rang.

“Hello?”

“What did you get for Christmas?”

“Mmmmm? I don’t know, Mom. I was asleep. We don’t start Christmas at 6am in our house.”

“Sorry, baby. I’ll call you back later.”

I tried to doze again. After about an hour of fitful slumber, I gave up and went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of hot chocolate. The Captain appeared soon thereafter. Curled up on the couch in our pajamas, we decided that the best activity for drowsy people was opening Christmas presents.

I pulled out the gifts from under the tree and stacked them in front of the Captain. He produced a small box from his pocket, handed it to me, and dug into his pile of packages.

I opened my gift. Pearl earrings. I said my “Oooohs” and “Ahhhhs” and set the box aside. The Captain gave me a kiss and returned to his presents.

He unwrapped.

And unwrapped.

And unwrapped.

After awhile I began to feel that this gift-giving thing seemed somewhat one-sided and that clearly one of us was spoiled.

Finally the Captain finished opening his presents. He leaned towards me, presumably to thank me for my obvious generosity, and pulled a small box from his other pocket.

I unwrapped a second tiny package and opened it. And stared.

At about the time my sleepy brain began to understand what I was looking at, I felt the Captain’s lips near my ear.

“Will you marry me?”

Category: Adventures in Adulthood, Memoir, Relationships, Wedding  5 Comments
It’s Like We’re Already Married
02
October
by TouchedByMadness

Sometimes you just need a hug. After two weeks of coughing my lungs inside out, today was one of those days.

I found the Captain in the kitchen and leaned against him in my “Life-is-so-freaken-hard-and-I’m-too-weary-to-even-hold-myself-up-anymore” fashion. He embraced me gently. I felt comfort and warmth. I let my body melt into his. He stroked my hair. I wound my arms around his waist and sighed. He pulled me tight to him and nuzzled my head. He hugged me as if never in the world had someone needed or deserved a hug more and said, “I bet we still have rolls in the breadbox from when your parents came for that cookout. Those must really be stale.”

Category: Crash & Burn, Relationships  6 Comments
Bitterness and Ill Will . . . Priceless*
07
June
by TouchedByMadness

Immediately as I walk through the front door -

Him: You may have to cancel your credit card.

Me: . . .

Him: . . .

Me: Um . . . why?

Him: Well, they called again and I answered and they asked for you and I told the woman, “She’s not here right now, but I notice you call for her ALL THE TIME. Is she behind on her payments?” And the woman said, “No, no. She’s always on time. She’s just a new customer and we’re trying to offer her a few of our security products.” And that’s when I started to yell.

Me: *groans*

Him: I was pissed. I told her, “Why the hell would she want to buy your security products when you’re discussing her private account information with someone other than her?! Apparently you don’t understand what security is! You don’t even know who I am! Now stop calling here!” And I hung up on her.

Me: Ok, while you made a very good point, maybe you could have handled that better?

Him: Maybe. Anyway, you may want to cancel that card now. I don’t think they’re happy with you.

Me: Awesome. Thanks.

* By the way, it wasn’t MasterCard.

Category: Crash & Burn, Relationships, Yes We Really Do Have These Conversations  6 Comments
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