Archive for the Category »Adventures in Adulthood «

(Almost) One Year Ago

At 7am the phone rang.

“Hello?”

“What did you get for Christmas?”

“Mmmmm? I don’t know, Mom. I was asleep. We don’t start Christmas at 6am in our house.”

“Sorry, baby. I’ll call you back later.”

I tried to doze again. After about an hour of fitful slumber, I gave up and went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of hot chocolate. The Captain appeared soon thereafter. Curled up on the couch in our pajamas, we decided that the best activity for drowsy people was opening Christmas presents.

I pulled out the gifts from under the tree and stacked them in front of the Captain. He produced a small box from his pocket, handed it to me, and dug into his pile of packages.

I opened my gift. Pearl earrings. I said my “Oooohs” and “Ahhhhs” and set the box aside. The Captain gave me a kiss and returned to his presents.

He unwrapped.

And unwrapped.

And unwrapped.

After awhile I began to feel that this gift-giving thing seemed somewhat one-sided and that clearly one of us was spoiled.

Finally the Captain finished opening his presents. He leaned towards me, presumably to thank me for my obvious generosity, and pulled a small box from his other pocket.

I unwrapped a second tiny package and opened it. And stared.

At about the time my sleepy brain began to understand what I was looking at, I felt the Captain’s lips near my ear.

“Will you marry me?”

Tossing My Cookies

When it comes to being sick, I’m an all or nothing kind of girl. There is no in between. You’ll never hear me say, “Oh, I feel a bit under the weather today” as I delicately touch a hanky to my nose. The sniffles? That’s for amateurs.

When I come down with something, it is an EVENT. None of those 24 hour bugs. If it won’t keep me suffering in abject misery for weeks at a time, I don’t get it. 

Two weeks ago I was perfectly healthy. Yesterday I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with acute bronchitis and the beginnings of a sinus infection. I was also warned that if I’m not better in two weeks, I may have to worry about chronic bronchitis or perhaps pneumonia.

This morning I woke up with one of my ears painfully blocked up.

This afternoon I ate no more than two grapes before my body decided that it’s not accepting food anymore.

I’m calling bullshit on my immune system. This is ridiculous. If I polled a dozen people I know and asked, “What’s the last ailment you had?” I’d get answers like “chest cold,” “migraine,” maybe “diarrhea.”

Last ailment I had? Lyme disease.

Unless I want to win a contest for most sick days taken, this is not cool. My white blood cells better get with the program. My sister’s wedding is less than a month away, and I don’t need to be the asshole who ruins it by hacking through the whole ceremony and looking pitiful enough to detract a modicum of attention away from the bride.

Yesterday I bought healthy foods like fruits to help with the recovery process. Foods my body has decided will never see the inside of my small intestine. I’ve tried getting some much needed sleep, but my body isn’t exactly cooperating there either, even when gently coaxed with medication. I give up!

Every dark cloud does have its silver lining though. Being sick means two things:

1. NARCOTICS!!!

2. I finally have time to read your blogs.

Thanks for keeping me company as I bitch and moan my way though another illness.

Broken

I guess I’m one of those people who foolishly believes that medicine will make you feel better right away. But then I suppose these days we’re all about instant gratification.

When I was diagnosed with Lyme disease, I was experiencing fatigue, some achiness, and constant headaches, but that was about it. Since then I have heard about the large variety of horrible and sometimes debilitating symptoms associated with the illness. Even with all the frightening stories of arthritis, Bell’s palsy, and heart attacks, for several days I was confident that that wouldn’t be me. Oh no. I had caught the disease early and the antibiotics were going to kill off the infection before I could develop so much as a fever.

Right.

The fatigue slowly worsened. But, hey, I’m sick. That’s just my body wanting to rest, I told myself. Then my knees and elbows began to hurt and frequently cracked or popped when I moved. Yesterday I woke up to severe aches all through my back. My sister kicked me in the back once when we were kids – hard enough that my knees buckled and I fell to the ground. This was like she kicked me multiple times. Like someone had kicked the shit out of me.

That pain alone was miserable enough, but then for some reason yesterday I was able to keep nothing down. Not foods. Not liquids. Not my medicine. Not even plain water. After awhile I swore that even breathing air was making me violently ill. Several times I closed my eyes and controlled my breathing so I would sleep before I retched. The first time it worked. The second time I woke out of a sound sleep and made it only so far as the hallway.

I can’t even count the number of times the Captain picked me up off the floor because I got too tired to make it from point A to point B in one straight shot. People tell me I look exhausted, but I know they’re really thinking what only the Captain is blunt enough to say: “You look like hell.”

Today I feel better than yesterday (thank all that is holy), but still feel lousy. I think about the war going on inside my body and wonder what effect the medicine is having. I wonder how much bacteria is still coursing through my system. And I worry over whether or not there are symptoms still to come. Paralysis of half my face isn’t exactly something to look forward to.

I have to remember that eventually I’ll be healthy again. Yeah, for now this sucks. A LOT. But I’m going to get better. I’m going to be fine. As much as I whine, in the grand scheme of diseases, this could be so. much. worse. (But, sadly, I’m sure I’ll still whine anyway.)

Bitten

I slept about an hour later than usual, a luxury possible because I planned to telecommute instead of fighting my way through work zones and traffic to get to my office thirty miles away. I had been fatigued a lot lately, so the extra rest was more of a necessity than a bonus. I wasn’t sure how much it actually helped though when I stumbled drowsily to the bathroom.

I stuck my head under the shower, hoping the hot water would ease away some of the ache in the base of my skull. I felt the dull beginnings of a headache coming on, the third or fourth this week, and tried to remember where I last left the Motrin. I sighed as I soaped up. I was feeling rather crappy for a Friday. Maybe I just couldn’t get to the weekend fast enough. It wouldn’t be the first time my aches and pains were attitude-related.

That’s when I saw it.

I remembered the red mark on the top of my right hip from the previous day. My belt and jeans had been rubbing the spot, irritating it. I was surprised though that the discoloration was still there. I rinsed the soap from my side and examined the fainter pink circle surrounding the dark patch. That didn’t seem right. The bruise? blotch? whatever it was . . . it had to be five or six inches in diameter.

After I toweled off, I called my mom and asked her if the strange bull’s-eye mark could be anything other than what I worried it was. Minutes after our conversation, my sister (a PA who conveniently had the day off from the hospital) called. I repeated my concerns to her. She had me poke at the mark. I didn’t hurt and it “blanched” when I pulled my finger away.

“You have Lyme disease,” she told me. “You need to be on antibiotics. Call your doctor.”

I got a recording telling me I could leave a message that would be checked the next business day. My sister started looking up nearby clinics.

“This can’t wait until Monday?” I asked. I didn’t feel up to driving anywhere. Actually, a couple more hours of sleep sounded good.

“No,” she insisted. “People DIE from Lyme disease.”

I thought about the people I know who have had Lyme disease. They’re all perfectly fine. Although . . . there was that neighbor that couldn’t even walk for awhile.

“Hi, I have a bull’s-eye rash on my right hip,” I explained to the admittance nurse at the ER. “My doctor’s office isn’t open today,” I added apologetically.

I kicked my feet as I sat on the edge of the examination table. I wondered how long the wait would be. There was no one else in the ER when I came in, but, really . . . I didn’t have a real emergency. I didn’t even look sick.

After a seemingly lengthy amount of time, the doctor came in. He shook my hand and gave me his card, introducing himself with a friendly smile. “So you have a rash?”

I hopped off the table and showed him my blotch. That seemed to be enough.

“First time?” he asked jovially.

I stared.

He chuckled at my reaction. After a couple quick checks of my lymph nodes and listening to my breathing, he informed me that I’d be spending my next three weeks on the antibiotic my sister mentioned earlier that morning.

“Do you have a fever?” he asked curiously.

“Uh, not that I’m aware of.”

“Have you had one?”

“Again, I don’t think so.”

“Hmph.” He smiled. “It’s coming.”

“Thanks for the warning.”

“How much do you know about Lyme disease?”

“Not much,” I admitted.

This seemed to amuse him. The doctor asked a few more questions, continued some friendly chatter, and then left to write up my prescription.

In the meantime, a nurse came in to take my blood. “So you’ve been feeling lousy and haven’t been able to figure out why, eh?” she said as she arranged her tools in front of her.

“Well, uh, I don’t feel that bad . . . yet. But I saw the rash this morning and-”

“Oh! You have a rash?”

“Um, yeah.”

When she was done taking my blood, she casually brought up the rash again, eyeing my body as if trying to guess where it was. It was like a new tattoo that everyone wanted to see.

“Ohhhh. Yeah, that’s classic,” she said, nodding. She seemed impressed. “So did it start out small and get bigger?”

“I . . . I don’t actually know. I didn’t notice it until today. It’s right on my pants line, so I’ve just assumed any red marks were due to rubbing.”

I looked down at the sprawl of the rash. How long ago HAD I been infected?

When I got out to my car, I sent a text to the Captain. “I have Lyme disease,” I typed. It seemed surreal to me. One day I was perfectly healthy. The next I have a potentially serious bacterial infection?

He was upset when he read the message. I know because two minutes after getting a response of “WHAT?!” he called me. His mind was swimming with memories of a coworker who spent a month off from work after the same diagnosis. She came back with Bell’s palsy. One side of her face was slow and difficult to control and she drooled all over herself.

So . . . here I am. Seemingly healthy, albeit a bit slower and achier than usual, hiding a huge round rash on my side. Some people look at my with sympathy and concern and others shrug and say, “Sucks to be you.”

I find it hard to fathom that I’m sick. I’m pretty certain that’s a good sign that we caught it early. I have my bottle of antibiotics, and my mind is 99% sure that everything will turn out just fine. Because if I weren’t so confident, I might be scared.

Fitness Friday: Week 5

How the time does fly when there are goals to reach. Somehow it is once again Fitness Friday.

(Actually it’s Thursday, but by the time you are reading this I will be all drugged up after having EIGHT teeth pulled, including my four wisdom teeth. Judging by the fact that two of the wisdom teeth are impacted, they want me UNCONSCIOUS for the extractions, and I need to pay for two rounds of anesthesia, I’m thinking I’m going to be seriously doped up tomorrow afternoon. I figured you’d prefer a coherent post. Ok, odds are you’d prefer the drugged out of mind post, but whatever. This is what you get.)

Anyway, it’s been a pretty low key week with all the preparations for the surgery. (My desk currently looks like a pharmacy. I’m beginning to feel a little freaked out.) Between coordinating a driver to safely transport me home from surgery (by the way friends and family, thanks for being all “Not it!” about it), making sure I have mush in the fridge to eat once I have no teeth, and figuring out which of these pills I’m supposed to be taking when, did I actually attempt any of my fitness goals?

Goal #1: I will change up my workout routine. Although I’ve recently added in the yoga, I’ve been doing the same stuff at the gym for over a year now. It’s time I put together a new routine to challenge my body.

Achieved? I guess technically not going to the gym at all counts, but that’s not what I had in mind when I set this goal. I have been looking at a few fitness sites to try to find a good overall body toning workout. I’ve also decided that it’s time to branch out from the elliptical machine to the treadmill and stationary bikes. But honestly, I’ve gone home and crashed every day this week. Sometimes sleep is more necessary than exercise.

(I did go running on Sunday and did Monday Night Yoga, so I wasn’t a total slug.)

Goal #2: I will attempt to better control portion sizes at meals. Thanks to my mom, whatever you put on my plate I feel obligated to finish and the Captain puts a lot of food on our plates. All that exercising isn’t going to do a damn bit of good if I’m always devouring dinner like it’s my last meal. If I’m really that hungry, then I can go back for seconds.

Achieved. I’ve been using smaller plates for lunch since I have a tendency to fill up whatever real estate is open. The Captain has been reducing portion size at dinner as well. Not too surprisingly, we aren’t still hungry when we finish what’s on our plates.

Goal #3: I will attempt to jog a mile. For reals. I do more distance than that any time I’m on the elliptical, so I’m hoping I can run around a track without fainting.

Achieved. Hell yeah.

Now, with all this eating healthy and exercising and drinking water and sleeping eight hours a night and taking my vitamins, you’d expect me to have tons of energy right? But no. I’m always freaken exhausted. It’s nothing medical (according to my recent blood tests), so I have to consider other possibilities. Which brings me to my goals for the coming week:

1. Per my fitness fanatic friend’s advice, I will attempt to figure out what kind of food my metabolism requires to function properly. She seems to think my love of carbs could be to blame for my sleepiness.

2. I will attempt to snack on protein-rich foods after my workouts. Above mentioned friend also informed me that this is necessary to keep my muscles happy.

3. If needed, I will cut myself some slack on the exercising and healthy eating because I’ll probably feel like hell for at least part of the week and won’t be able to eat anything much harder than pudding for awhile. I will not take the week off, however.

As always, anyone can pick up Fitness Fridays with me. If you plan to participate this week, here’s what to do:

First, choose three goals for yourself that are reasonably challenging, yet attainable. Goals can be anything from “taking the stairs instead of the elevator” to “completing this weekend’s marathon.” Whatever is right for you. Fitness goals can also include eating smarter or getting an adequate amount of sleep. Basically anything that makes you a healthier you.

Once you’ve thought of your goals, post them on your blog so you are accountable to work on them over the next week. If you don’t have a blog, write them down on paper and post them on your wall, fridge, etc.

Finally, let other participants know about your goals so we can offer encouragement and congrats as you make progress.

Current Fitness Fridays participants include:

Jewelz

Iasa

That’s it for me. I hope you are looking forward to a better week than mine. I wonder if shaking the instant pudding counts as exercise.

Until next week . . .

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” ~ Lao-tzu