Riiiiiiiight

Me: (trying to amuse Dante after his neuter appointment) Hey, Dante! Look what Mama got for you today! New balls!

Dante: **stares**

Me: Oh . . . I guess I didn’t think that one through . . . . → Read More: Riiiiiiiight

Fetching

I’ve had many cats in my life. After all those years of feline companionship, I’ve come to expect certain behaviors of my pets. For example, if I, say, throw a ball for my cat, I’d expect it to:

Ignore me.
Give me an expression that says “Why are you throwing shit, stupid?”
Chase the ball, play with it for . . . → Read More: Fetching

Procrastinator

What I promised myself I would do today:

Wedding planning

What I actually did today:

Put stuff away in the attic
Reorganized my bookshelves
Cleaned out my desk drawers
Reorganized my files
Set aside boxes of stuff to donate
Vacuumed
Bought books online
Filed a customer complaint with the magazine company
Played with the cats
Paid bills
Called my mother
Read old letters, cards, and notes from the Captain
Caught up . . . → Read More: Procrastinator

Quack

Him: (from the kitchen) Tomorrow we’re going to try something different!

Me: **concerned look**

Him: Duckling!

Me: **concerned look** 

Him: It tastes like chicken.

Me: Then why buy duck? Isn’t chicken cheaper?

Him: Ok, it doesn’t taste . . . → Read More: Quack

Never Have I Ever #3

Today’s theme is pretty much “I’m really freaken bored and sorta still in pain so I’m going to try to distract myself by writing a bunch of random stuff that somehow will pass for a coherent post.” Enjoy.

Never Have I Ever . . .

. . . gone cow tipping. I also fail to understand how anyone . . . → Read More: Never Have I Ever #3