Archive for » July, 2009 «

Riiiiiiiight

Me: (trying to amuse Dante after his neuter appointment) Hey, Dante! Look what Mama got for you today! New balls!

Dante: **stares**

Me: Oh . . . I guess I didn’t think that one through . . .

Fetching

I’ve had many cats in my life. After all those years of feline companionship, I’ve come to expect certain behaviors of my pets. For example, if I, say, throw a ball for my cat, I’d expect it to:

  1. Ignore me.
  2. Give me an expression that says “Why are you throwing shit, stupid?”
  3. Chase the ball, play with it for a minute, and then lay down, bored.
  4. Chase the ball, roll it under the fridge, and look at me like “Now what?”
  5. Chase the ball, look at it, then look at me waiting for something exciting to happen.

I didn’t expect this:

(Sorry for the crappy quality. I took the video with my Blackberry.)

Procrastinator

What I promised myself I would do today:

  • Wedding planning

What I actually did today:

  • Put stuff away in the attic
  • Reorganized my bookshelves
  • Cleaned out my desk drawers
  • Reorganized my files
  • Set aside boxes of stuff to donate
  • Vacuumed
  • Bought books online
  • Filed a customer complaint with the magazine company
  • Played with the cats
  • Paid bills
  • Called my mother
  • Read old letters, cards, and notes from the Captain
  • Caught up with everything in my feed reader
  • Checked my email
  • Tracked the shipment of my parents’ anniversary present
  • Blogged about my desperate attempts to avoid the task at hand
Quack

Him: (from the kitchen) Tomorrow we’re going to try something different!

Me: **concerned look**

Him: Duckling!

Me: **concerned look** 

Him: It tastes like chicken.

Me: Then why buy duck? Isn’t chicken cheaper?

Him: Ok, it doesn’t taste like chicken.

Never Have I Ever #3

Today’s theme is pretty much “I’m really freaken bored and sorta still in pain so I’m going to try to distract myself by writing a bunch of random stuff that somehow will pass for a coherent post.” Enjoy.

Never Have I Ever . . .

. . . gone cow tipping. I also fail to understand how anyone considers this entertainment.

. . . been out of the country. I don’t even have a passport.

. . . read the Harry Potter books. I did cave and read the Twilight series, however.

. . . been able to whistle. And, yes, it bothers me.

. . . eaten a Twinkie. Something about them makes me want to hurl.

. . . held a firearm. Yet there’s one in my house.

. . . voted. I KNOW. I don’t follow politics, so I’ve never felt like I could make an informed decision in an election. 

. . . gone clubbing. Not even in my college days.

. . . Twittered? Tweeted? Yeah, that.

. . . waxed any part of my body. Cause, you know, ouch.