Blame Canada
There was swaying. There was singing. There was crying. I didn’t get to punch anyone.
This morning I woke up with a wicked headache. After I cried into my pillow a little and nearly yakked in the shower, the Captain decided to buy me some Excedrin. I think he felt guilty since I was subjected to “the goddamn Titanic song.”
Suffering aside, I did learn a few things from last night’s concert experience:
1. Celine Dion is not actually ugly in person. (Who knew? Besides the Captain, who was highly offended that I had believed she was horse-faced until last night.)
2. However, she makes a whole range of ugly faces when she sings. (See, I was partially right.)
3. But you may not notice if you’re distracted by her gorgeous hair and smokin’ body. (Jealous? Yes.)
4. Celine speaks with an accent. (Honestly, people expected me to know this?)
5. And apparently has not mastered the English language. (Even the Captain admitted she’s not particularly articulate. Grammar? Pshaw!)
6. She also needs to enunciate. (I couldn’t understand 85% of the lyrics she was singing. During one song it wasn’t until she got to the chorus that I realized it was in English.)
7. Celine sucks at air guitar. (Seriously. I was embarrassed for her.)
8. She has a very powerful voice. (See migraine complaint above.)
9. And the venue had great acoustics. (See migraine complaint above.)
10. Yet I still loathe her music with a fiery passion. (See migraine complaint above.)
I think the Captain expected me to have a change of heart when I saw her live. Like I was suddenly going to go home with a concert t-shirt and all of her CDs. Instead I spent the whole show thinking, “If I don’t get a ring out of this, this is bullshit.”
you have a generous and understanding nature to have attended that show. you deserve a gold star. or possibly a very nice present. day at the spa?
Just generous. Not understanding. I assure you I bitched the whole way there and the whole way back about what a martyr I am.
Oh girl! You definitely need a ring out of this one! I can’t stand Celine Dion, and you are dead-on about the ugly singing faces. What the hell is up with that? I think she looks a little like a drag-queen with a killer body!
It’s ok to not like her. Really. (I don’t.) I don’t like Coldplay but it seems like everyone else does. I don’t get the draw. Every song of theirs sounds the same to me. And yet I endured one of their concerts for my friend. And while there was possibly one song that I might have enjoyed, I still don’t like them.
See? So you aren’t alone.