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I was awakened at 4:45 this morning when the Captain suddenly decided to spoon me and squeeze the life out of me. “Hey. Are you snuggling me because you love me or because you’re cold?” I asked sleepily. “Because I’m cold.” [long silence] “. . . But I do . . . → Read More: Love Is . . . “So in the amount of time it took me to put on my makeup this morning (all of ten minutes), the cats somehow managed to unroll, shred, and eat a significant length of toilet paper. Right behind me. Without me noticing. You may want to rethink considering me for future mother of . . . → Read More: But I Do Dishes “Falafel shouldn’t be called falafel unless it has something to do with waffles. It’s . . . → Read More: Overheard Having a bad morning. Girl with large nose ring hit my car while bringing friend/sister to court. Girl had no registration or insurance information on her, which didn’t go over well with the police officer. Friend/sister complained that her back hurt. Not my problem, so I didn’t pretend to care. Need a new headlight, bumper, and not sure what else. Physical . . . → Read More: This Morning’s Email to the Captain The Captain’s military ball is next weekend. Of course, because I’m not at all a procrastinator, I’m totally prepared: * super hot red dress: Check. * smokin’ body to put in it: Um . . . * ultra-slimming undergarments to make up for lack of gym commitment: Check! * shoes: Hmmm . . . I have only one pair of . . . → Read More: T Minus 7 and Counting |
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