TouchedByMadness

Bare

Dear naked woman at the gym,

I can’t help but notice that all of the three times I’ve run into you, you’ve been naked. Yes, I realize that every time I’ve seen you we’ve been in the locker room, but still, you don’t find it odd that I’ve never seen you in a stitch of clothing?

I am also perceptive enough to have picked up on the fact that no matter how many other ladies are in the locker room, you choose to speak to me. The first time it was just us, so I didn’t think anything of it. But the last two times? There were other strangers to chat with. What’s up with that?

It could be because the last two times our lockers were practically next to each other. Do you recognize my green lock? Or do you always use the same locker and I’ve unwittingly picked your area both those times? I’ve started using the lockers on the other side of the room now. No offense. Just giving you space.

I have to admit I’m still confused by our last conversation. You said that normally you’d be wearing a bathing suit (I’ve never witnessed you in said suit, by the way), but the pool was closed. Ok . . . so why does the pool being off-limits necessitate nudity? Did you not bring any other exercise clothes? And what fitness routine did you plan to do in your disrobed state? Are you coming on to me, naked woman? I’m all for naked exercise, but in the privacy of my own home . . . with my boyfriend.

I want you to know that I do appreciate that you’re trying so hard to get my attention, but I’m not really ready to follow you back to your colony. Please understand. It’s not you, it’s me. I like pants.

Sincerely,
Stacey