Relax, Got It Covered

Him: (inspecting the cat feeder I brought home today) So this thing is going to keep the girls from starving this weekend?

Me: That’s the plan.

Him: How does it dispense water?

Me: It doesn’t.

Him: Well what are they going to do for water then?

Me: I was going to leave the toilet seat up.

(In my defense, they seem to . . . → Read More: Relax, Got It Covered

Domestic Goddess I Am Not

It’s drill weekend again, which sucks for two reasons:

1. I miss the Captain like crazy (particularly when I have to sleep alone).
2. I have to clean the house.

The Captain has never said he expects me to clean the house while he’s away, mind you. However, I notice that when he walks in tired and haggard after . . . → Read More: Domestic Goddess I Am Not

Between You and Me (and the Blogosphere)

Sometimes I bake cookies just so I can imagine I’m . . . → Read More: Between You and Me (and the Blogosphere)

The Telltale Scars of Stupidity

There comes a point in my relationships when curiosity overcomes the guys’ better judgment and they ask, “Where did you get these scars?”

For a time I used to reply, “I spent a few summers working in the circus as the lovely assistant to a sword thrower with a lazy eye.”

Whether or not they believed me, it . . . → Read More: The Telltale Scars of Stupidity

Reality Check

Me: So I’ve been working out for about a month now, but I don’t think I look any different. Do you think I look any different?

Him: It takes awhile to see results.

Me: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I have more energy and I know I’m getting stronger. But -

Him: But what? Those are results.

Me: Not visual . . . → Read More: Reality Check