One of the most obvious signs that you’ve gone from merely dating to finding yourself in a relationship is the introduction of your “pet name.”

I’ve had a couple over the years — “Sweetness,” “Bubbles,” “Apple Blossom” — and subsequently developed a theory as to why men feel the need to nickname their women.

I believe that the desire to re-name one’s girlfriend stems from the Biblical tradition of Adam naming all the plants and animals, thus asserting his position as owner and caretaker of everything. He names Eve, claiming her as his (not that there was supposed to be anyone else to dispute that with) and his dazzling show of authority is complete.

So now when a man decides that he intends to spend some significant time with you, you are rewarded with the cheesy nickname. Get used to it, because he will call you by that name all the time, and expect you to answer to it. Sure, he’ll pass it off as trying to be cute, but you can bet that when you hear, “I’m going to call you Peachy. Isn’t that sweet?” it’s mentally followed by, “And you can call me Lord and Master.”