The Key to Winning Any Argument
No matter how friendly and easy-going you are, at some point in your life you are going to be involved in an argument. Probably lots of them. If it’s inevitable that you must face such unpleasantness as an argument, you might as well know the trick to ensure you win every time.
For a long while I was inclined to believe the widely acknowledged tenet “He who is loudest is right.” But just weeks ago I had an epiphany, and I am certain I have discovered an even more effective strategy.
At the time I was struck by the revelation I am about to share with you, I had just overheard the following conversation:
Adult 1: Hey, can you come here a minute?
Adult 2: Hay is for horses.
I was immediately transported to my childhood and the sing-song response:
Hay is for horses,
Sometimes for cows.
Pigs would it eat it, but they don’t know how.
It was always a well-loved retort, despite the fact that the declaration is completely ridiculous.
“Pigs would eat it, but they don’t know how? Come on. That’s stupid.”
“Nuh uh. It rhymes.”
That’s when it hit me - the key to winning any argument no matter the topic, importance, or opponent - rhyming.
Think about it. The rhyming words help validate your statement. These ideas fit together so well, they actually rhyme! How can you go wrong?
Sure, it may sound juvenile to reply to “What?!” with “Chicken butt,” but think of how effective it is. Odds are the other party’s train of thought will be completely derailed and that person will be unable to formulate a timely response. You now have the upper hand and, if you delivered your line with enough conviction and finality, the win.
I am totally confident that rhyming is the key to winning any argument. You may doubt me, but I assure you that monumental conflicts have been decided by nothing more than a pithy rhyme. So before you go denouncing my methodology as childish and asinine, reflect on this famous argument: “If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit.”
Check, and mate.
I’m sitting trying to come up with a rhyme to say…oh, it just hit me: nice advice!
I really need some coffee- clean kitchen or not.
I’m thinking about resurrecting Pee Wee’s “I know you are, but what am I?” It doesn’t have the rhyme appeal to which you refer, but it does have a definite juvenile component and it’s difficult to be out-bested.
I came here with the intention of starting a fight with you, but now I just can’t. It scares me that my wife stopped by first. I’m afraid I’m going to have to hear, “Nice job, Billy-Bob” when I do something wrong.
Reminds me of my mother-in-law
“He who is loudest is right.”
That’s why she would win any fight
Hi Stacey,
My method for stopping an arguement in it’s tracks is to agree with the other person (whether you do or don’t!)
Eg:
Other person: God, you’re stupid sometimes. (said in annoyed provocative voice)
Me: Yeah - I must try harder not to be. (said in tone of humble agreement)
Or:
Other person: Well thank you very much for leaving the kitchen in such a mess - don’t worry about me having to clear up before I can even make a cup of coffee!!! (said sarcastically)
Me: OK then! (said with warm gratefulness)
It works every time!