Scenes from an Italian Restaurant

Young Host (as he passes a table seating Dad, Mom, three boys, and a little girl): How’s everyone doing over here? I hope Santa was good to you all. How’s your dinner?

Eight-Year-Old Boy: Yeah, excuse me, I ordered a Miller Lite awhile ago and no one brought it to me yet.

Young Host: Oh, sorry about that. . . . → Read More: Scenes from an Italian Restaurant

Love Me Tender

Me: I assume you don’t want to do a church wedding.

Him: Why? Because I never go?

Me: I thought you and church weren’t on good terms.

Him: That’s because every time I’m in one, someone’s dead.

Me: Good point. We could have the Chaplain officiate the ceremony. That would be nice. You know him so it would be more . . . → Read More: Love Me Tender

Marry Christmas

So the post I was planning to write today was all about how for the first time possibly ever in my life, Santa Claus did not show up at my parents’ house to fill the stockings and leave presents under the tree and Christmas just didn’t feel quite as magical.

But you’re not getting that post.

No, because . . . → Read More: Marry Christmas

If Only I Still Worked at the Childcare Center

A Grover doll and a bottle of Jack Daniels . . . Most. Awesome. . . . → Read More: If Only I Still Worked at the Childcare Center

Woohoo!

What? Yes, I’m five years old. (Does that make him any . . . → Read More: Woohoo!