Archive for » 2008 «

December

Young Host (as he passes a table seating Dad, Mom, three boys, and a little girl): How’s everyone doing over here? I hope Santa was good to you all. How’s your dinner?

Eight-Year-Old Boy: Yeah, excuse me, I ordered a Miller Lite awhile ago and no one brought it to me yet.

Young Host: Oh, sorry about that. I thought you wanted a vodka on the rocks. Hey, eat up your dinner for Mom and Dad.

Dad: They were strays. We picked them up off the street. They’re not our children. They just looked like they needed a meal.

Category: Overheard, Random 3 Comments

Love Me Tender

December

by TouchedByMadness

Me: I assume you don’t want to do a church wedding.

Him: Why? Because I never go?

Me: I thought you and church weren’t on good terms.

Him: That’s because every time I’m in one, someone’s dead.

Me: Good point. We could have the Chaplain officiate the ceremony. That would be nice. You know him so it would be more special. Plus he’d be fun at the reception.

(The Chaplain is quite a dancer. You’ve got to love a minister who does the robot.)

Him: Yeah, but I don’t know if he can officiate weddings in a state other than where he lives. I don’t know how that works. Maybe if we pull the proper permits . . .

Me: Pull a permit? Funny. Look, I don’t know how it works either, but if Elvis can officiate a wedding -

Him: Whoa, that’s different. Elvis was royalty. He’s the King, you know.

Category: Adventures in Adulthood, Relationships, Wedding, Yes We Really Do Have These Conversations 3 Comments

Marry Christmas

December

by TouchedByMadness

So the post I was planning to write today was all about how for the first time possibly ever in my life, Santa Claus did not show up at my parents’ house to fill the stockings and leave presents under the tree and Christmas just didn’t feel quite as magical.

But you’re not getting that post.

No, because this morning the Captain gave me his mother’s diamond ring and asked me to marry him.

So don’t worry, Santa. This year I’ll let it slide.

Category: Relationships 11 Comments

If Only I Still Worked at the Childcare Center

December

by TouchedByMadness